The Gift/ The Resolution

There are times when I awaken in the wee small hours of the night consumed with the desire to create – to paint. Willingly I approach the canvas in the dark, applying paint blindly, unaware of my color choices, or just exactly how I am applying them. I go with trust, with deep love for my inner guidance, and with the sense of carefree playfulness that children naturally exhibit (before we fill their heads with regulations and constraints.)  And my willingness to participate in this game of creation is tempered only by the size limits of the substrate in front of me.

Yes, I sometimes do feel scared. I question. I search to feel all that I can so that as my brush dances across the surface kissing the canvas, I am an attentive lover. There are times when I do this technique of ‘blind painting’ to get past a hurdle of uncertainty – past the question What should I do? - and just let go. (At times I have wondered if I do this so that I will have a built-in excuse if it looks horrible in the end.) But I go for it anyway.

In the morning I awaken refreshed and gaze upon my work in the light for the first time. I am always amazed, often delighted. And since I have no preconceived ideas running through my head as to the next step, I listen, this time with my eyes, to what the painting is telling me.

This year – this New Year – 2013, I offer myself the gift, the resolution to allow this kind of playfulness in all areas of my life. The willingness to move forward even if I am not sure what will happen. Just listening closely. These are times when I need to grow and allow myself to exhibit this certainty, this innate knowing. 2013 is the year.

I offer my deepest gratitude right now for all who will join me in this wonderful exploration of our selves – of me. I thank you. I love you. I honor you and all you’re journeying.

Now let’s play~